C(hat) Strike!

Q) What does it take to be a Pro in CS ?
Ans. Anything but playing CS!

A lot of us fail to understand that CS isn't just about being good at the game... its about being good at the chat.
In any random round of Counter-Strike... a player uses more key presses to communicate in the *DEAD* chat than he does in actually playing the game.
You can be a brilliant player... but unless you know how to effectively utilize the 'Y' key in the 'cool' gaming way... you're as good as a n00b.
Vica versa... good communication skills can make the worst of players look like badass pros.

So what does it take to be a pro in CS chat?
Here is a head start for the rookie BITSian...

Lesson 1
'n00b' is not just a word.

Thats right.
Its not just a word. Its a designation.
Its like the biggest insult you can inflict on a player... calling him a n00b will make him both pissed off and look like a total moron, no matter how brilliant his game is.
Use this word carefully.
You don't want to be a victim.

Lesson 2
'Chut' is not just a word.

It probably is the most used term in BITSian CS.
Forget about all definitions you've heard earlier...
Nobody completely knows what this word stands for... but it sounds cool so it can be used to describe anything in CS:

The following usage, for example, is acceptable:

As an adjective...

"chut server"
"chut host"

As a noun...

"wat a chut man"
"chut died"

As both the adjective and the noun:

"X: wat a lame idiot!"
"Y: he's a chut sniper chut"

It can also be used as a lone statement when you've nothing to say... a standard reply:

"X: hey nice shot man!"
"Y: chut"

"X: chng map"
"Y: chut"

"X: server shutting down"
"Y: chut"

Lesson 3
Repitition is Assertiveness

To make your point clear, the words you use must have at least four repeated letters.
This is not like the usual repeated vowels used to plead for something, like the pleeeease and come oooon usually used in chats.
Here, instead of extending vowels, you have to repeat your consonants.

"Hey gr8 shot mannn!"
"dust is most besssssst!"
"Terpent Rulzzzz"
"Godddd PnT!"
"Funkkk play pppl"
"hey cool fraggg!"
"niccce one!"

According to experienced players, the number of repeated characters in a word is directly proportional to how much you mean it.

Lesson 4
Numbers are good

You must know the right nos. to use in the chat.
Saying 'Yes' or 'No' in response to a question both requires too much effort and is n00bish.
Use 1 for an affirmative and 2 for a negative. Always!

"X: de_aztec?"
"Y: 1"

"X: hey drunk u riddhi?"
"Y: 2"

However, the law of repitition (read 3 above) doesnt apply here...

11, for example does not mean "Yes Yes" or "very yes"
Instead, it stands for laughter.

"X: My grandmother can kill better than that"
"Y: 11"

'lol', 'lmao', 'haha' etc are now considered obsolete.
11, on the other hand... is kewl!

In case somebody says "111", it can be interpreted as both "Yes Ha ha ha" and "Ha Ha Ha Yes"

Lesson 5
roxx is rox!

CS player in BITS implies wannabe
And BITSian wannabe dierectly implies that everything rocks!

However, usage in the normal form is, once again, a sign of a n00b.

Its a priviliged word and must be used with care...
One must always follow the following code:

rox - above average
roxx - good
roxxx - brilliant
roxxxx - godlike
roxxxxx - goddlike

Every x added thereafter stands for one extra 'd' in godlike, which makes it more godlike (read 3 above).

Also, roxxx is not a vowel anymore.
Acceptable usage includes:

"Hey you are so roxxx mann"
"This map is so roxx"
"Hey roxxx shot dude"
"our clan is total roxxx ppl"

Lesson 6
Its kewl!

To seem like a good player, you will have to prove that you are an up-to-date wannabe...

Never use the word 'cool'... its passe.
Even 'kool' is now considered lame.
You might still just get away with 'kooool'... but the correct word to describe anything thats worth appreciating and has already been described by "roxx"... is "kewl!" (exclamation mark is absolutely necessary)

Next in line is "kul" which is fast gaining popularity but still hasn't reached the masses.
Use at your own risk.

Lesson 7
Be a Dood!

Addressing people in CS is a major concern.
Friend, Pal, Macha, Anna... though all very popular in normal BITSian conversations... should be avoided at all costs in a CS chat.
Everyone, no matter how wannabe he is, should be referred to as "dude!" (once again the exclamation mark is a must)

One can also use the phrase "kewl dude!" to refer to the very best of the lot.

However, pronounciation of the word in team chat should be strictly "dood!"
Any differently sounding word like "dude", "deud" or "diyood" will immediately defame you.

Lesson 8
You're the man!

The most important thing you must keep in mind while playing CS... is that you are playing it online.
This means that you can say anything to anybody and piss anybody to any extent without ever being discovered.

Make sure you are proficient in the use of as many swear words as possible.
Learn to use the word fuck as much as possible. (fucking, fucked and fukkkk must also be used to make a conversation meaningful)
Forget about seniority, respect and hieracrchy... He who can frag more is the man!

Playing online also means that you can make yourself sound as cool as possible... by giving yourself a fancy nickname.

While choosing a nickname, use as many 'X's, 'Q's, numbers and names of science fiction characters as possible... which will help in making you famous in the gaming (read geek) community. (more on nicknames here)

For the n00b, here are a few examples from the BITS gaming community:
Lord Voldermort
Serpent
Sp@rT@n
Avenger
ACID
Neo
L3oN!da$
and of course, yours truly with Xero0ne also deserves a special mention.

Lesson 9
Symbols are kewl

Give yourself a kewl name... and to make it kewler, Replace letters with symbols!
Here is a simple conversion table...

A : @ , ^
E : 3
I : !
M : ^^
N : |\|
S : $
V : \/

Using symbols makes your nick F^$C!N@T!NG, K3Wl and U|\|!Qu3

Lesson 10
Go$$!p

Whats a chat without gossip?
After dying within the first 30 seconds in a 5 minute game over and over again, the normal CS player is both irritated and bored.
When faced with such a situation, make something up, which is both interesting to the reader and insulting to somebody better than you at the game... and start gossiping!

If you can't think of anything creative... just keep repeating the following statement:

ACID rapes TnT
(Don't worry about redundancy, you will keep getting 11 as a response indefinitely... They don't have a sense of humour there)

This finishes your training as a beginner in CS...
Once you are done with these basics, learn to play the game.
It will help.