A Manifesto

As elections come nearer and candidates continue to promise us the moon... none can escape the thought of being a candidate themselves.

In the process... I have decided to come up with my own election manifesto:

1) Railway Station in Pilani
An eight platform Railway Station with all modern facilites (including soft-drink vending machines) will be established in Pilani.
A daily Rajdhani Express to Hyderabad will be started.

2) Concentration Camp for Board Toppers
All Board Toppers will be re-located to a wing in Gandhi Bhawan. They will be made to eat in KG Mess only and will live under the strict supervision of Dr. Sajeev Chandran.
They will be killed very peacefully and humanly using Nerve Gas only.

3) Med-C in Malviya Bhawan
A brand new "Drug Store" will be opened in Malviya Bhawan.
Anti-depression pills will be distributed free of cost exclusively to EEE CDC students.

4) 30% Reservation for Queers
In the interest of the increasingly dominant male population, 30% seats in all departments and clubs will be reserved for queers.
This reservation will not be applicable to Sounds as they already have too many.
Also, BHS will be established officially under SU.

5) Speeches
One enthusiastic speech each with good quality English and an American accent will be delivered at OASIS and APOGEE.

6) xchng!
The xchng command will be legalized on both IPMessenger and DC++.
Fresh stock will be ordered every week.

7) KoolNames
For ease of identification, and owing to the diminishing popularity of Real names, students will be allowed to use their Counter Strike nicknames in all academic forms and examination papers.
Those without one will be assigned the nickname n00b___ (id no)

8) Cafe Coffee Day
As realizable a promise as all of the above, ain't it?