Have you ever wondered why so many football players date supermodels?
Look around you. There are uncountable examples.
So what is it about footballers that women in the world of fashion cannot resist?
At Xero0ne labs, we are committed to research in emerging areas.
After two years of intense studies, our scientists have come up with the following results:
In a startling revelation, it was shown that the fashion-football attraction is caused by stimulation of the models' exposed skin by the reagents in a football player's sweat.
The phenomenon, known as Sweat Fetish, works as follows:
Playing football for a long time causes expansion of the sebacious glands due to excessive sweating. These swelled up glands start manufacturing concentrated amounts of strongly bonded larger organic molecules.
These molecules, which resemble the C-60 Fullrene, are known as Bi-Alkylated-Laevorotatory-Lacto-Spheres (BALLS).
On the other hand, the skin of women dressed up in minimal clothing becomes overly sensitive due to critical exposure to the atmosphere.A typical model in revealing clothes was found to have a much higher concentration of the compund Bi-Oxy Ozono Butane (BOOB) on her skin, which acts as a receptor site.
When the BALLS molecules in the footballer's smelly sweat are dispersed in the air, they are adsorbed by the BOOBS receptors on the model's skin where they act as pheromones, leading to intense stimulation.
The entire process can be summarized by the equation:
With the above scientific knowledge, our scientists hypothesized the following typical first conversations between the two:
Scenario 1
Boy: What do you do?
Girl: I show off my body in skimpy outfits. And what do you do?
Boy: I kick a round object around in the playground.
Girl: We are both so grown up and mature. Lets fuck.
Scenario 2
Girl: You look tired.
Boy: I've been playing with my balls all day long.
Girl: But there's no one else on the field.
Boy: I like to play with myself.
Girl: Maybe I can join you. Will you teach me?
Boy: Sure. Do you want to know how I bend it?
And that is how it usually starts.
That done, we are now working on determining the future prospects for some other football players.
Further studies will be based on the following subject, who in his eight years of football, has failed to attract any cat-walking female.
