Note : This article is about the color red on Gtalk status messages.
If you are a Manchester United fan, you were probably looking for this.
If you are a communist desperate for respect, go here.
अगर आपकी मंगल की महादशा चल रही है तो कृपया यहाँ जाएँ.
End of Note
Good looking people will never stop ruining my happiness.
This time, they've made a mockery of my privacy.
Here's how it happened.
In this world, there are good looking girls. (A)
Also in this world, there are desperate men. (B)
And in any closed system, B's purpose of existence is to stalk A.
In the beginning there was A.
And one day, Google made Gtalk.
A logged onto Gtalk. She was green.
And for a time, it was good.
But soon, Bs found her out, and the next time she logged in, she had a hundred "hi wassup?" messages from Bs.
She had a little conversation with all the Bs, and politely made an excuse to shoo them away. It is, after all, the moral responsibility of every good looking girl in the world to be nice to people to prevent unnecessary testostoronal loss of life.
The Bs didn't understand; they were rather encouraged; they didn't give up.
When A had had enough, she turned red.
And a wise move it was.
Half the Bs thought A was busy and stopped buzzing,
And there came a time when A was always red.
Obscurity had come to the rescue.
Soon, Red became the new Green.
The other Bs, however, got the trick.
How dare she take away their right to harass pretty girls!
How dare she try to outsmart them to be just left alone!
Busy or not, their "hey how r u?" continued.
And so started the race..
And in the quest of staying one step ahead of her stalkers, A used Pidgin and turned yellow.
And Bs responded with their timed 5-minute-ly "hey u thr?"s
And A had to eventually give in every time.
And then one day, A turned invisible.
And then, there was relief.
She could finally hit on her chocolate boys in peace.
And how did all this effect me, the common man?
Well, I'm old fashioned.
Being an ugly person I'm not allowed to keep up with these trends.
I still believe in the orthodox teachings of Google: the three Colors,
When I'm busy I innocently set my status to Red.
But people just ignore it and buzz me anyway.
I write DND next to the red,
And some continue to ignore it and buzz me anyway.
I take the effort to remove the abbreviation and make it Do not Disturb. Busy means Busy.
And somehow, Vineet Pandey still manages to buzz me anyway.
Now, either Vineet Pandey is an atrocious disgrace to comprehending the English language or,
In time, the common man has just got used to the mockery of colors done by good looking people.
It is, I believe, the latter.
Today, it doesn't matter what color your status is.
If you're on the list, you'll be bugged.
Good looking people have screwed us up once again.
And this, we believe, is blasphemy and must come to an end, lest we anger the lords.
However, something good has come out of it as well.
Good looking girls, in doing so, have provided us a foolproof way of finding out how good-looking any girl is.. from only her Gtalk status.
Its quite simple to figure out as well.
In every status, the girl says a story.
I'm fat, ugly and desperate.
Or, I'm lonely and vulnerable.
I have a stalker.
Or, I'm just an ugly friend of a hot one.
I'm popular and attractive.
Or, I'm just asleep.
I'm Hot.
And, I'm actually busy hitting on someone else right now.
