Respect the Red

Note : This article is about the color red on Gtalk status messages.

If you are a Manchester United fan, you were probably looking for this.

If you are a communist desperate for respect, go here. 

अगर आपकी मंगल की महादशा चल रही है तो कृपया यहाँ जाएँ.

End of Note

Good looking people will never stop ruining my happiness.

This time, they've made a mockery of my privacy.

Here's how it happened.

In this world, there are good looking girls. (A)

Also in this world, there are desperate men. (B)

And in any closed system, B's purpose of existence is to stalk A.

In the beginning there was A.

And one day, Google made Gtalk.

A logged onto Gtalk. She was green.

And for a time, it was good.

But soon, Bs found her out, and the next time she logged in, she had a hundred "hi wassup?" messages from Bs.

She had a little conversation with all the Bs, and politely made an excuse to shoo them away. It is, after all, the moral responsibility of every good looking girl in the world to be nice to people to prevent unnecessary testostoronal loss of life.

The Bs didn't understand; they were rather encouraged; they didn't give up.

When A had had enough, she turned red.

And a wise move it was.

Half the Bs thought A was busy and stopped buzzing,

And there came a time when A was always red.

Obscurity had come to the rescue.

Soon, Red became the new Green.

The other Bs, however,  got the trick.

How dare she take away their right to harass pretty girls!

How dare she try to outsmart them to be just left alone!

Busy or not, their "hey how r u?" continued.

And so started the race..

And in the quest of staying one step ahead of her stalkers, A used Pidgin and turned yellow.

And Bs responded with their timed 5-minute-ly "hey u thr?"s

And A had to eventually give in every time.

And then one day, A turned invisible.

And then, there was relief.

She could finally hit on her chocolate boys in peace.

And how did all this effect me, the common man?

Well, I'm old fashioned.

Being an ugly person I'm not allowed to keep up with these trends.

I still believe in the orthodox teachings of Google: the three Colors,

When I'm busy I innocently set my status to Red.

But people just ignore it and buzz me anyway.

I write DND next to the red,

And some continue to ignore it and buzz me anyway.

I take the effort to remove the abbreviation and make it  Do not Disturb. Busy means Busy.

And somehow, Vineet Pandey still manages to buzz me anyway.

Now, either Vineet Pandey is an atrocious disgrace to comprehending the English language or,

In time, the common man has just got used to the mockery of colors done by good looking people.

It is, I believe, the latter.

Today, it doesn't matter what color your status is.

If you're on the list, you'll be bugged.

Good looking people have screwed us up once again.

And this, we believe, is blasphemy and must come to an end, lest we anger the lords.

However, something good has come out of it as well.

Good looking girls, in doing so, have provided us a foolproof way of finding out how good-looking any girl is.. from only her Gtalk status.

Its quite simple to figure out as well.

In every status, the girl says a story.

I'm fat, ugly and desperate.

Or, I'm lonely and vulnerable.

I have a stalker.

Or, I'm just an ugly friend of a hot one.

I'm popular and attractive.

Or, I'm just asleep.

I'm Hot.

And, I'm actually busy hitting on someone else right now.

Payscale Puzzle

Its time for placements, and owing to the lack of interest of software companies in copied-from-Google Computer Engineers, there are going to be a lot of tradeoffs between Dream Jobs, High Payscales, Good Companies and Higher Studies this year.

Its too time-consuming to develop a rational scale for analyzing all the parameters, and therefore, I have decided to go for a much basic criteria.

Since I should fit into almost any CompSci job under the sun (I don't have a CGPA to boast), I'll be satisfied with my placement if:

1. After all expenses, at the end of a hard day's work I can afford to buy a KFC bucket.

End of criteria

Psenti Sem Bucket List

As the last semester of your BITSian life approaches, you think of the sophisticated and gentlemanly college life you've had so far, and plan out..

Ten stupid and immature things to do before passing out from BITS:

1. Drop a course.
2. Make a BITSian sister.
3. Appear for an evaluative component under the influence.
4. Vote for None of the Above.
5. Get a fake test make-up.
6. Go onstage for a major quiz.
   
7. Ask a girl out just because its Valentine's Day.
8. Host a DC++ hub and fight for its superiority.
9. Create hissing sounds in the LTC to disturb the class.
10. Jerk off in IPC.

Current score : 3/10

Say No to Tata Nano

The People's Car, Tata Nano, has been the headline of the Indian automotive industry for the past two years. Being the cheapest car under production, it targets the lower middle class population that till last year could not afford to buy an expensive car and had to settle for the two decade old Maruti 800.

All set to roll on Indian roads now, the Tata Nano is widely seen as a good thing.

Having been built completely indigenously, it is considered a statement of India's economic growth and innovation. People have immense faith in the car and well, everybody just loves it.

In fact, everybody loves the idea of a 1-lakh car so much that they have overlooked the car's specifications almost completely.

What we have is a 625cc rear-mounted engine. Sounds good? The Maruti 800 is the weakest car on the road and it is 800cc. How much power do you think a 600-odd cc engine will generate?

How about a maximum speed of 80 kmph? This means that after hitting the gas for a long time on a highway you can get to 80. Somewhat auto-rickshawish, isn't it?

How many of us really want to drive such a car everyday?

I'm no automotive engineer, so I'll stop here, but you should get the idea that the car is only meant for those who absolutely cannot afford anything else.

It worries me how people have overlooked this and have booked the car out of pure excitement.

My grandfather booked one. My father almost booked one too. My brother also gave it a thought.

If it wasn't for some sensible decision-making, we could have had three Tata Nanos in the family in the next six months (It is so affordable!). We already have two cars.

The same applies for a lot of people I know.

So what happens once all these Nanos are bought into every second family?

People will be excited about the car, drive their Nano for like a week or so, maybe a month, realize how much of a car it really is and park it in the garage, and it won't come out of there till when their 12 year old son would need a driving lesson.

At much less than 1 lakh rupees, the car won't even have a re-sale value good enough!

By booking the Nano this way, not only are people wasting a lakh rupees, they are denying that poor man a unit who has waited for two years to buy the car and actually needs it.

If people with no need to buy the car continue to do so, we will soon see as many useless Tata Nanos in garages in the next two years as we have useless mobile phones in homes today.

Not a good sign, is it?

Okay, economic perspective done, lets float another idea here.

Since the day the Nano was announced, it has been loved and praised by everyone.

Have you ever heard anyone speak anything negative about it? Leave the AutoCar magazine aside, they are professionals. Anyone from the common man?

I haven't.

People are so swept away by the hype created by the car and have so much faith in the product that they are ready to trust Tata Motors on anything. Do you realize how much power it gives to the company?

How many people expect Tata to give them the miracle of a car they've dreamed of? How many people have paid their hard earned money to book the car? How many of them are lower middle class people struggling to make ends meet?

The Nano was initially announced at 1 lakh. It has finally come out at 1.30 lakh.

In one small price hike Tata Motors may have devastated the hopes, the dreams and the economic plans of thousands of middle class families.

What if they have to make another change? Do you realize how big an impact one changed feature in the car can have?

Should anyone or anything be allowed to have so much power?

The Sprite of Hypocrisy

From the time it entered the market, Sprite has had one publicity tactic.

Remember the first mockery involving a sardar and a car (rather "the-car") ?

"Cold drink peene se heroin-sheroin nahi aati. Aati hai.. Dakaar!"

It was probably the first softdrink ad in the market that didn't target the "I to do what celebrity do" mentality of the public.

"Sprite bujhaaye only pyaas. Baaki all bakwaas."

It was simple.

And it created an impact.

Who doesn't remember the sarcasm in the ad mocking Mountain Dew's adventure theme?

"Aaaayee wanna dew!"

How about letting the people know how irrelevant filmstars and cricketers flying kites is to softdrinks?

"Public ki le rahe hain."

A mockery of the popular wannabe English culture?

"Tommy, Uncle ke liye pen laao."

Sania Mirza's presence in the later ads added attitude to the viewpoint.

In the quest of sales, Sprite's advertisement campaign did much more that just sell its softdrink - It created awareness. It taught people to judge a product based on its usefulness rather than on the celebrities shown on TV using it.

Of course, Sprite tasted like distilled water mixed with soda all along, but that hardly seemed to matter.

To most of us, Sprite always represented a culture - The culture of being sensible; the culture of thinking rationally; the culture of not being a part of the herd.

It used to represent the culture, that is.

This ad just spoils all the hard work.

"Sprite kholega toh milega. Cap ke neeche run banao, ShahRukh aur KnightRiders se milne ka mauka paao."

I don't know if the hypocrisy by Sprite was noticed by people.

It seems that back at work they have finally realized that unrealistic dreams are better motivators than sensible advice. Someone dared to think ahead of his time again. As always, he was unsuccessful.

I won't be surprised to know that Sprite sales skyrocketed during the IPL.

Tiles

Another long holiday

Another intellectual conversation

Another week of introspection

Another wave of realizations

Another burst of laughter

Another silent resolution

A thousand thoughts

A hundred ideas

A couple of conversations

One decision

And an ambiguous blogpost to sum it all up

Vacations do something to you.

For moody bloggers like yours truly, they provide an excuse to write.